Leaving Behind My American Behaviors: A Journey of Thriving in the UK

Moving from the United States to the UK was more than a change of scenery. It required me to reframe my mindset to truly thrive in my new environment. The habits and thoughts I clung to from my American life became obstacles, making it harder to adjust and flourish. Here's a look at key behaviors I had to let go of and how this journey has transformed my life for the better.

Seeking Outside Validation

One of the first American habits I had to change was my need for outside approval. In the US, success often feels tied to external validation—from social media likes to workplace accolades. But in the UK, I found a cultural shift that emphasized self-reflection and intrinsic motivation.

For example, I used to obsess over being liked and accepted at work. I was constantly concerned with leaving a bad impression on my boss an colleagues, but once I shifted my focus towards enriching the relationships with the people that were the most important in my life, I felt more grounded. Journaling and meditating helped me recognize my personal worth and what I had to offer my family, and the world. Writing down achievements, no matter how small, made it clear that I had the skills and attributes to succeed on my own terms and live the life I have always been meant to live.

A peaceful garden reflecting personal growth and self-acceptance.

Striving for Perfection

Perfectionism can push you to achieve great things, but it can also create unrealistic expectations that lead to stress and disappointment. Back in the US, I felt immense pressure to be flawless, whether in my job or personal life. Keeping up with the Jones' is an common theme within the American lifestyle, and I was definitely caught in the whirlwind of appearances.

Living in the UK taught me the value of “good enough.” Through conversations with friends, I discovered that authenticity is often appreciated more than perfection. Instead of fixating on perfect outcomes, I learned to accept imperfections as unique qualities that showcase my individuality. This change not only lessened my stress but also allowed me to enjoy life more—after all, nobody’s perfect, and striving for it can be draining.

Letting Go of Past Perceptions

One of the most liberating steps was releasing my preconceived notions about my new environment and my own identity. Initially, I compared my experiences in the UK with those from the US and critiqued everything that didn't match my expectations. But what this did was keep me tethered to my own life, rather than allowing me the freedom to fully emerge myself in my new home.

As I embraced new experiences, I realized the beauty of cultural diversity. I was finally able to really absorb all of the amazing things the UK had to offer, and I found myself feeling more and more connected to my community. Shifting from judgment to curiosity opened doors I had previously overlooked. Interacting with people from different backgrounds expanded my understanding and enriched my life, reinforcing the idea that flexibility and openness are vital to personal growth.

A majestic view of historical British architecture showcasing the beauty of the UK.

Working is Enough (Learning to Be Intentional)

In the fast-paced US culture, I often equated busyness with importance. It is the American approach to most things in day-to-day life in the United States. This obsession with relentless work made me feel like I needed to hustle constantly to prove my worth. However, living in the UK showed me that being intentional can lead to better outcomes and deeper fulfillment.

Prioritizing quality over quantity meant setting achievable goals and allowed me time in between to really celebrate my wins and plan for the next step in a more confident manner and with a clearer vision. I became more focused on meaningful tasks that aligned with my values rather than filling my day with busywork. This shift has allowed me to cultivate a more balanced lifestyle, fostering time for self-care and connections that rejuvenate rather than exhaust me.

Fitting In vs. Embracing Uniqueness

Initially, I struggled with the desire to fit in with British culture. I believed it was easier to conform than to stand out, leading me to suppress my unique qualities. Again, this is another cultural staple in the United States, stay in your lane. I always had an internal conflict with this, as I could always feel in my gut this wasn't for me. But the environment around me kept pushing me down the path everyone else was going down.

Gradually, I recognized that embracing my individuality could add depth to my interactions. Sharing my American quirks—like our love for Thanksgiving or how we celebrate birthdays—became a bridge to deeper connections. I learned that authenticity fosters genuine relationships, and uniqueness is something to celebrate, not hide. And ultimately, I was able to become more comfortable with my surroundings, and with myself.

People Are Gonna Be Mad, Let Them

One of the most freeing realizations was that not everyone will like me—and that’s perfectly fine. My desire for acceptance often made me worry about how my actions would be perceived. And when other's were upset or unhappy, I would follow my instinct to focus my energy to making that person feel better; rather than accepting that it may not be in my control or my responsibility.

Moving to the UK helped me see disagreements in a new light. By acknowledging that differing opinions are normal, I became more confident in my choices. This empowerment not only nurtured my resilience but also allowed for more open conversations that promote mutual understanding and personal growth. And learning how to set boundaries (and enforce them) provided me a safe space to return to reset and recharge so I could live to fight another day!

Help the Ones that Need Help, Not the Lazy People

In American culture, there’s often praise for serving others unconditionally. I took this to heart, trying to assist everyone regardless of their willingness to change. This mindset drained my energy and left me feeling resentful. Often times, I would bring that resentment along with me to the next encounter (no matter who it was with); creating an unfair negative energy around me, that would burden my senses sometimes for weeks on end).

In the UK, I learned to be more selective about whom I choose to help. Focusing on supporting those who show genuine effort made my contributions has been so much more fulfilling. And it has given me the positive energy I needed to keep showing up for those people, which has led to impactful relationships and notable improvements in those I support.

A New Chapter of Growth and Connection

Leaving behind American behaviors didn’t happen overnight; it was (and continues to be) a gradual process filled with challenges and learning. By shedding the need for validation, perfectionism, and rigid perceptions, I opened myself up to new experiences and connections.

Being intentional in my work, embracing my uniqueness, accepting that not everyone will support me, and choosing whom to help have all redefined what it means to thrive in the UK. This journey continues, and I believe these transformations are paving the way for a fulfilling, authentic life—one that resonates with my core values.

In stepping away from habits that held me back, I have not only adapted to my new surroundings but have found deeper meaning and joy in every interaction and experience; making my move from the United States to the UK one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Wishing you positive vibes on your journey, no matter where you're going. I know it can seem an insurmountable task at times, but you can do it. And it will be worth all the pain and struggle in the end.

Cheers to a life of growth, connection, and thriving!